I'm Only Human

Today, lil' b and I went to the library to pick up some books for her, while dad stayed behind with our sick little Bug. On the drive into downtown, it started to snow, which made the event even more fun. We picked out our books at the library, and it was still snowing as we skipped down the street back to our car. While loading lil' b into the car, a grizzly elderly man, with thick dark rimmed glasses and an air of "I don't really like kids", walking towards us, stopped and commented, "These are the best years, don't miss out on them because soon they'll realize that you're only human." I was so shocked by his comment, not because I haven't heard it before, but because I never would have expected that old man to say something to me, and especially a something endearing to children. It really touched me to see this old man's emotions well up just by seeing my lil' b. Kids are amazing.

As we drove away, I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said, because it's so true. I am only a human and man, I am going to make some awful mistakes, I just know it. I'm human, so I have to. And it scares me to death. And the process of her realizing this has already begun. I've already had situations where lil' b caught me acting in a way I teach her not to act. Saying something to her in a rude tone, and she tells me I'm being rude, and I have to apologize. So humbling.

A lady at church said a really similar comment, just last Sunday. After watching me hold Bug, she came up and said, "Aren't they so wonderful?" referring to children, and I said, "Yes, they are." Then she told me how her boy was 25, getting married, and such a great man. She said it amazes her because she was a single mom and knows there were plenty of mistakes down the road. I told her that it scares me to think about what will be my parenting mistakes. My parents were good parents, but there were mistakes and shortcomings. There has to be, and sometimes it's painful to realize that. The lady and I got distracted, and she walked away, but came back 5 minutes later. She told me that the cracks in our parenting are there on purpose, because that's where God comes in. That's where He takes over and molds them and teaches them to persevere through trials. I thought this was very interesting and encouraging. All of it made me want to live more in the moment with my kids, savor this special time, and realize I'm only human.

Remembering Joyce Birdsall

B's grandmother, Joyce Birdsall, died recently after a five year battle with cancer. She and her husband Bill, B's grandpa, had been married for 60+ years and had been a couple for 65 years. This is them in the picture above, probably they're still in high school. He was a football player and she was a cheerleader. They married after she graduated and had four daughters. When she died she had 6 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren.

We drove down to Corvallis to go to the funeral last Thursday night. The funeral was on Saturday, so we spent Friday just hanging out with the family. The picture above is the picture that was passed out to family members, and it's the picture that Grandpa spent sometimes an hour staring at while sitting in his easy chair the days before funeral, most of the time his eyes filled with tears. Next to him was another matching easy chair which is now vacant, because his partner of 65 years is gone.

The funeral was very traditional with an elegant white casket, full service, hearse, and funeral procession of cars to the burial. It was amazing to realize, looking around the room that these people were here because of Grandma and Grandpa. This was their legacy. B and I and our children are part of their legacy too. During the service it was shared that Joyce was an amazing hostess who loved saying hello and hated saying good bye, which reminded me so much of B. She was a wonderful God fearing woman who lived a great life and left a great legacy.

After the service we drove to the burial which was on a beautiful plot out in Sweet Home, where other family members are buried. B served as one of the casket bearers. Watching the burial was so sad. As I looked at all the family members, I thought "this was momma bear, she started all this and here we are laying her in the ground." At the same time, it seemed like her time to go, and it was nice to know she wasn't in pain anymore and she was sharing eternity with her creator.

The hardest part was Grandpa. While staring at his wife's casket, Grandpa looked shocked like he didn't see it coming, even though she had been dying of cancer for years. Out at the cemetery, it was absolutely beautiful, and it was supposed to rain.

Here's some pics of the burial. Notice that this is in November and look at the scenery.

Carrying the casket
Great granddaughter and daughter

Son in law, daughter, and Grandpa Birdsall Grandpa Birdsall's last goodbye
Grandson B, and great granddaughter lil' b